(A rose-gold pearlescence has
gathered on the horizon, spreading across the skirts of the winter
clouds as Pheobus Apollo sinks to his rest. A perfect time for the
telling of omens. Jerome Kirkman walks towards the slaughterhouse, a
weathered outbuilding on the edge of his property. Catullus follows
in his father's footsteps, bearing, amongst other things, a slightly
chipped clay amphora.)
Jerome: Good weather.
(Catullus surveys the snow-shrouded
landscape. The weather is indeed good, but it is inadvisable to
assume an auspicius outlook on the basis of pathetic fallacy. Jerome
pushes open the slaughterhouse door and Catullus follows him inside.
A goat lies in a small pen to one side, reclining on a bed of straw.
Catullus put the amphora down atop a simple wooden altar and proceeds
to rouse the goat.)
Catullus: Wake
up. It's time.
(The goat raises its head and looks
up, its eyes glazed with the effects of its last supper of red wine
and barley. Catullus drapes a garland of winter ivy around its
shoulders and crowns it with a wreath of yew. While he prepares the
sacrifice, his father builds a fire beneath a large, shallow
cast-iron cauldron which is suspended from the ceiling: a remnant of
the days when the slaughterhouse was a maple-sugar shack. Once the
fire is built, he takes down a sickle-shaped knife which is hanging
on one wall and begins to sharpen it. Catullus lifts the goat in his
arms and carries it to the altar.)
Jerome: Would
you lead the prayers?
(Catullus scratches the
goat's beard a couple of times and places his hand on its head.)
Catullus: O
mighty god who presided over us in our innocence, veiled possessor of
truth, fugitive King driven from his throne by his own son, we offer
to you this sacrifice. Accept it now as we face the crisis of time,
the rule of darkness, the passing of the year. Today we turn the
world upside down: masters serve their slaves, and fathers their
sons, in order to atone for the injustice that was done to you in the
beginning of the world. We ask you therefore to bless and receive our
offering, restore this wearied world and make all things new.
(Catullus takes the
amphora and pours a small stream of water over his father's hands.
Jerome strokes the flanks of the sacrifice and guides it down so that
it lies still, its neck exposed. Catullus bends over it, covering the
eyes of the goat with his arms as he embraces its head, his forehead
resting against the brow of the animal. The drugged goat curls its
legs quietly beneath itself as the knife slices across its throat.
Catullus gathers a bowlful of blood and sets it aside, then helps his
father to hoist the animal's carcasse upside down into the rafters
where it hangs looking strangely reminiscent of Carravagio's
Crucifixion of Peter. They stand together in the cold, watching it
bleed.)
Catullus: Dad...You
heard everything that Juvenal was saying, didn't you?
Jerome: Mmm.
Catullus: You
mean you already knew. I was afraid you might.
Jerome: I
always know everything. You should know that by now.
(Catullus turns away, drawing
patterns on the altar. Swirling lines, like miniature galaxies, rise
and fall as he traces his finger through the blood.)
Catullus:
So is there nothing else to say?
Jerome: (considering) No...
I suppose I would like to ask you why.
Catullus: Because I was in
love.
Jerome: I'm sorry. I didn't
realize you were that desperate for it.
Catullus: Why must I have been
desperate?
Jerome: You placed your life in
danger. You had better have been desperate.
(Catullus returns to his picture.
The lines spread out now beyond the boundaries of spilled blood.
Jerome takes down a hacksaw, drawing the blade like the bow of a
violin across the spine of the goat. The vertebrae split and the head
is slowly removed. He places it on the altar where it gazes with
lopsided serenity at Catullus. From the surrounding walls the skulls
of sacrifices past look down. They hang their heads now, silently
calling the spirit of their fallen comrade to join them. )
Catullus: Forgive
me.
Jerome: Is
that in the imperative, or in the interrogative?
Catullus: Please.
(Jerome lays down the saw and
contemplates his son for a moment. He says nothing, but takes up a
knife and begins to remove the skin of the goat. It falls from the
body, revealing mottled pink skin and curving ribs. Jerome hands it
to his son and Catullus folds it loosely, laying it on the altar next
to the head. He lifts the amphora again and washes the blood from his
father's hands. As Jerome turns to dry his hands by the fire,
Catullus secretly makes the sign of the cross on the side of the
hanging carcasse. Jerome returns to the altar and studies his son
strangely, weighing.)
Jerome: Are you going to take
the auspices?
Catullus: I suppose. That's what
you asked me out here for.
(Jerome hands him the knife and
Catullus slowly and deliberately slices open the stomach of the
animal. He midwives the organs down into a waiting red wheelbarrow
and removes the liver, placing it on the altar. The firelight
shimmers across the dark-red surface of the organ like oil spilled on
pavement. Catullus prods it with his finger.)
Catullus: It doesn't speak to
me. You'd better just consult the books.
Jerome: I'm not interested in
what the books say. I want your interpretation.
(Catullus breathes deeply, pulls
himself together, prays a private prayer, and then thrusts his hand
into the wheelbarrow. Membranes fold themselves around his sleeve
like pale balloons. His fingers fumble about in the steaming organs,
searching. Eventually they clasp on something hard, clenched tight,
still holding on to the remnants of life. He fishes out the heart,
its vessels still tenuously connecting it to the body. A slanting ray
of moonlight slips through the weathered boards of the building and
plays across his bloodied fingers.)
Catullus: In
the Beginning, it might have been one of two ways. It may be that
there was a father, and he was frightened of his son. He tried to
destroy him so that he would never be able to defy him, but the in
time the son rose up, castrated his father and sent him away in
disgrace. The son, now frightened by the weight of his own guilt,
turned on his own children, devouring them in turn so that he would
never have to endured his father's fate. But he had brought a curse
upon himself which no paranoia could allay. In due time he was
deceived, his son secretly spared from his consuming envy, and he too
lost his seat upon the throne of heaven. Or it may be that the father
was never really frightened of his son at all, and that the son was
jealous and afraid, scared that his father was holding something back
from him. It might be that Jove spread the story that his father was
a cruel and unjust god so that no one would dare to question his
claim to authority. History, after all, is written by the victors.
Why not myth?
Jerome: Which
do you think it is?
Catullus: I
wouldn't dare presume to judge the gods.
Jerome: Yes.
(Catullus lays the heart on the
altar, cutting away the aorta and the vena cava before placing it in
his father's hands.)
Catullus: Offer
it as a sacrifice and share it amongst your children, in atonement
for the enmity which Jove bore to his father, and for the jealousy of
Saturn. The rest, (he gestures towards the remaining innards) is
inscrutable.
(Jerome places the heart on the
altar and cuts it open, parting its two halves like a book.)
Jerome: What does it say now?
(As Catullus studies the bisected
organ in silence, Jerome takes the remaining innards and places them
in the fire as an offering to the gods. The flames flare up to
consume the sacrifice, illuminating the shadows of the heart.)
Catullus: There is a third
possibility. In the Beginning it may be that the father and the son
were one, their wills beating in concord like the chambers of the
heart. It may be that the father loved the son more than he loved
himself, and withheld from him nothing.
Jerome: (placing his hand on
his son's shoulder) Ita est. I think we should go and join the feast.
Catullus: Amen...
(End of Part XII)
I appreciate and love you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThunder entered her,
ReplyDeleteand made no sound.
There entered the Shepherd of all
and in her became a lamb,
bleating as he comes forth.
-- St. Ephrem the Syrian
This is the best thing I've read in about six months. Thank you. I'm looking forward to hearing more.
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