Wednesday, February 27, 2013


(The stuffed dormice are particularly succulent this year, but the wine is running low. Catullus has just complained that nobody is answering his arguments and Germanicus, pausing to refresh his glass, has taken up the challenge.)

Germanicus: The reason that no one has answered your original argument is that it's based on a really bizarre paradigm. It assumes that the body has some sort of archetypal significance. I don't see that. It's just a machine, a tool that gets you through the day. Sure, you have to look after it and do basic maintenance if you want it to work for you, and there's kind of an implied obligation “If you have enjoyed the experience of having a body, you will find that yours is supplied with the necessary equipment to provide bodies to others. Please use responsibly.” But if you're doing your duty and procreating like you're supposed to, I don't see that it matters what else you use the equipment for. I mean, think of your reason. This is the faculty that leads you towards truth and allows you to know God. But so long as you're doing that, no one makes a fuss if you also use it to play chess or analyze episodes of South Park. So it would seem that if the reason, being the noblest of faculties, may be justly used in the pursuit of trivial pleasures, then surely the baser parts may likewise be used to recreate.
Juvenal: I can see that Sheila is contemplating how she would feel about being a trivial recreation for Germanicus' baser parts.

My Year of Faith Article

Here's a link to an article that I published for the diocese of Fort Wayne/South Bend's "Year of Faith" website.

Sunday, February 24, 2013


Hi all,

I'm now on twitter. I can be followed. I'm just melindaselmys. (Does the word "follow" somehow strangely suggest "stalk"? Or is that just me?)
Apart from that, Germanicus, Catullus et. al. haven't been available to argue about Catullus' sex life because they've been busy saving their sister from a malevolant well that was sunk in the foundations of the earth at the beginning of time in order to hide secrets that need to be kept from the eyes of God. They've almost got it sorted, and should be back for parts 11 and 12 of the dialogue series soon.
The NFP series is on hiatus until after lent is over. I've decided that I need to take some time to spiritually recharge before I get back into that particular minefield -- but thanks to all of my commentators. You've all been lovely and helpful, even when I've disagreed with you :)
Also upcoming, I'm putting together a self-published book called "Slave of Two Masters." It's about Vatican social teaching, the virtue of poverty for lay people, and alternative forms of economics -- hence the self-publishing thing. Depending on how long it takes me to get the cover art together, it should be coming out in the next month or so. I'll keep y'all posted.

Happy (?) Lent!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Nobody's on Nobody's Side


Scene: A Roman style dining room in South-Eastern Ontario where a debate about homosexuality is taking place.

Dramatis Personae:

Juvenal Kirkman: A darwinian social constructivist, more or less.
Germanicus: His brother, a stoic.
Catullus: A flaming but closeted homosexual who is arguing in favour of Catholic sexual morality.
Sheila: The arbiter. Not Germanicus' girlfriend.
Ali: A postmodern feminist, allegedly Catullus' girlfriend.

The Story So Far: The opening speeches have been made, and Sheila has just recommended throwing coconuts at Juvenal. Ali is arming herself with almonds, the closest available substitute.